This is a transcript of a message that I preached at True Life in the summer of 2014. It is basically a biblical theology of sexuality, which is obviously very a very important subject. We have also attached a link to a podcast from Arrowhead Church, where their Lead Pastor, Ben Shoun, and his wife, Sara, discuss the book and movie, “50 Shades of Grey.” With the recent release of this movie, we feel like this is a timely discussion.

Pastor Jimmy

Link to podcast from Ben and Sara Shoun of Arrowhead Church

“Sexology: A Biblical Theology Of Sex”
(Slightly edited transcript of a sermon preach at True Life on July 27, 2014)

This sermon is called Sexology because what I am going to try to do today is develop a biblical theology of sex. I am going to give you seven statements from Scripture that kind of cover what I think Scripture teaches about this subject really more from a positive side. We have Christology, which is the theology of Christ, Pneumatology, the study of the Holy Spirit, Hamartiology, the study of sin, and all these different ologies. I think that we need a theology when it comes to sex so that we can see it from God’s perspective. I hope that this does not make anybody too uncomfortable. It doesn’t make me too uncomfortable to talk about it and at the rate that we produce babies around here I don’t think that we are too prudish on this subject. In case it does make you uncomfortable, I will just tell you this little story to break the ice. My good buddy, friend, pal Rusty Arwood made me uncomfortable yesterday. Yesterday was Lillie’s tenth birthday, and we are having a party and Rusty and Lori come to pick up Alexandria and Bailey. We are just sitting there in our living room. It’s me and my Mom is there and Robin my wife, and I guess maybe Lee Brown was there and maybe some other people were there. My Mom didn’t know what I was preaching about although she did ask me last night, thank you Rusty, so if she shows up at the second service today you are preaching instead of me. Rusty is like “are you ready for this sermon tomorrow,” and I said, “Yeah, I think so.” He is like do you need to practice? My Mom hears that and she is like “does he need to practice his sermon”? Rusty is like “I don’t know, you need to ask your daughter-in-law.” At this point I can say something and A.)embarrass myself, B.) embarrass my Mom, C.) make my wife mad, or D.) all of the above and so Rusty got me good.

Let’s start this way. Romans 12:2 says, “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing or your mind, so that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.” I hope that we understand that our most important sex organ is our brain and the Bible says “that as a man thinks in his heart so is he.” Everything begins with the way that we think and begins with what we believe. I believe how we think controls what we feel and it controls how we act. The word conform means to squeeze into a mold. If there is an issue in the world, that the world wants to transform us, squeeze us into its mold, it is the issue of sex. We are constantly bombarded with ideas and images. You cannot watch a normal TV program or you cannot walk through the grocery store and checkout without being bombarded with images. The world wants to squeeze us into its mold when it comes to this issue. God wants to transform us. It is the word that we get our English word metamorphosis from through the renewing of our mind. The way that we are squeezed into the world’s mold is by listening to and believing its lies. The way that we are transformed through the renewing of our mind is by listening to and believing God’s truth. With any area of life but especially this one, the bottom line question is are we operating based on truth or are we operating based on falsehood? If I gave a quiz today and I asked you to write out a biblical theology of sex what God has designed it to be, I wonder how we would do. My guess is that most people that have a church background would do better with saying what it is not supposed to be than actually what it is because I think it is a lot of the message that we have gotten. In fact, from a sermon from a series through Song of Solomon, Dr. Danny Akin said this: “In an article in entitled “What They Didn’t Teach You About Sex in Sunday School”. Peggy Fletcher Stack writes many people assume that bible has just one message about sex: ‘Don’t do it.’ Anyone that says that obviously has not read the Bible. God, in His Word, has a lot to say about sex and much is good. Indeed God is pro-sex when it is enjoyed His way and for His Glory. Yes, God should be glorified when we engage in the act of sex. Have you ever thought about it that way before? Sex as God has designed it is good, exciting, intoxicating, powerful and unifying. The Bible is not a book on sex but it does contain a complete theology of sexuality. The purposes for sex, warnings against its misuse, and a beautiful picture of ideal physical and spiritual intimacy as set forth in the Song of Songs. The “one flesh” relationship is the most intense physical intimacy and the deepest spiritual unity possible between a husband and wife. God always approves of this relationship in which a husband and wife meet each other’s physical needs in sexual intercourse.” I think he is exactly right.

Let me mention some resources to you. If you can find Dr. Akin or Tommy Nelson’s teaching on Song of Solomon, I highly recommend it to you. For married couples here are a couple of good books. This is an older book, “The Act of Marriage” by Tim an Beverly LaHaye that was originally written back in the 60’s that was redone about fifteen years ago is a really good resource. Another book of the same type is by Dr. Ed Wheat in his wife, “Intended for Pleasure.” This is what we have used and I highly recommend it although I am sure there is other good resources out there. In talking to your kids ,“Passport 2 Purity” from Family Life Today, by Dennis and Barbara Rainey is really good. We will just kind of touch on this a little bit but you know a big issue in our society today is the issue of homosexuality. Our very own David Robinson wrote this book, “Love Speaks,” and it is an excellent resource. You can get it on Amazon. Everybody should read this book. It is such a big issue and David has done a fantastic job.

That is kind of the pre-introduction. Here is the actual introduction. I know this can be a painful issue for some people just because maybe of abuse, sin, difficulties. I understand that I am speaking to a lot of different potential issues. One of the best teachings I have ever heard on this subject is from Matt Chandler and as he was introducing his message he said, “I have thought through this and I have come up with about 35 different scenarios that I could be speaking to as far as peoples background with this.” I understand that and I obviously cannot get that specific so I am going to try to lay out some principles and hopefully and prayerfully the Holy Spirit will help you to apply these to your life.

I want to give you a couple of false ways to look at sex and then we are going to look at the biblical way. The first is what I think is the prevailing view in our culture today. It is the humanistic view. I just want to read a little bit from the Humanist Manifesto and then I want to share an example with you of what I think this looks like fleshed out in people’s lives. It comes from a lengthy article in the New York Times entitled, “Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game Too.” Here is part of what the Humanist Manifesto says. It says modern science discredits such historic concepts as the “ghost in the machine” and the “separable soul.” In other words, we have no soul. Let’s keep that in mind when I read from this New York Times article. “Rather science affirms that the human species is an emergence from natural evolutionary forces. As far as we know the total personality is a function of the biological organism transacting in a social and cultural context.” Now that is a real wordy, over intellectualized way to say what? It is saying we are a highly evolved animal. Then it says there is no credible evidence that life survives the death of the body. We continue to exist in our progeny and our children and in the way that our lives have influenced others in our culture. Here are three statements, the three things I said to start with: we have no soul, we are just an animal, and we die and that’s it. This is the philosophy of life, the world view, which our young people have grown up with just being inundated with. I want you to see the practical ramifications of this. Another part of the Humanist Manifesto statement on ethics says, “We affirm that the moral values derive their source from human experience. Ethics is autonomous and situational needing no theological or ideological sanction. Ethics stems from human need and interest.” What that is saying is that everything relative. There are no absolutes, you decide right and wrong. It is based on your interest, your need. Part of the statement on sexuality says, “In the area of sexuality, we believe that intolerant attitudes, often cultivated by orthodox religions and puritanical cultures, unduly repress sexual conduct. The right to birth control, abortion, and divorce should be recognized. While we do not approve of exploitive, denigrating forms of sexual expression, neither do we wish to prohibit, by law or social sanction, sexual behavior between consenting adults. The many varieties of sexual exploration should not in themselves be considered ‘evil.’ Without countenancing mindless permissiveness or unbridled promiscuity, a civilized society should be a tolerant one. Short of harming other or compelling to do likewise, individuals should be permitted to express their sexual proclivities and pursue their lifestyles as they desire.” Let’s put this together; you have no soul, you’re an animal, this life is it, everything is relative, ethics are situational, you decide what is right and what is wrong, and basically pretty much anything goes when it comes to sex.

What is the fruit of that? This New York Times article, I encourage you if you are a parent it is worth reading it. Google it, “Sex on Campus She Can Play That Game Too.” Basically they studied, researched, interviewed about 60 Penn University, which is an Ivy League School, females and they pooled in some other research as well. Here is what pieces of it says. “At 11 on a weeknight earlier this year, her work finished, a slim, pretty junior at the University of Pennsylvania did what she often does when she has a little free time. She texted her regular hookup — the guy she is sleeping with but not dating. What was he up to? He texted back: Come over. So she did. They watched a little TV, had sex and went to sleep. Their relationship, she noted, is not about the meeting of two souls.” Why would you think it is if you have been taught your whole life you didn’t have a soul? Do you see how sad that is? Listen to this. “‘We don’t really like each other in person, sober,’ she said, adding that ‘we literally can’t sit down and have coffee.’ Ask her why she hasn’t had a relationship at Penn, and she won’t complain about the death of courtship or men who won’t commit. Instead, she’ll talk about ‘cost-benefit’ analyses and the ‘low risk and low investment costs’ of hooking up. Another girl they just give the initial A talks about how hard it is at an Ivy League School like this and how hard it is to get into the top clubs, top research projects, and top internships. If I am sober I am working and she says in such an overburdened college life it was rare to her and her friends to find a relationship to invest time in and many people avoided commitment because someone better would always come along. “We are very aware of cost benefit issues of trading up and trading down so no one wants to be too tied to someone that you know may not be the person that you want to be within a couple of months.” Instead casual sex as set on her terms late at night after a few drinks and never at her place she noted because then she would have to wash the sheets. Then later on in the article it goes on and it talks about how this gets started and some of the fraternity parties during early student orientation and the dances and these kind of things that turn into these dance floor makeouts. Dancing like that felt good but dirty, and like a number of girls, Haley said she had to be drunk in order to enjoy it. Women said universally that hookups could not exist without alcohol, because they were for the most part too uncomfortable to pair off with men they did not know well without being drunk. In November of Haley’s freshman year, a couple of months after her first tentative ‘Difmos,’ or dance-floor makeouts, she went to a party with a boy from her floor. She had too much to drink, and she remembered telling him that she wanted to go home. Instead, she said, he took her to his room and had sex with her while she drifted in and out of consciousness. She woke up with her head spinning. The next day, not sure what to think about what had happened, she described the night to her friends as though it were a funny story: I was so drunk, I fell asleep while I was having sex! She played up the moment in the middle of the night when the guy’s roommate poked his head in the room and asked, ‘Yo, did you score?’ Only later did Haley begin to think of what had happened as rape — a disturbingly common part of many women’s college experience. In a 2007 survey funded by the Justice Department of 6,800 undergraduates at two big public universities, nearly 14 percent of women said they had been victims of at least one completed sexual assault at college; more than half of the victims said they were incapacitated from drugs or alcohol at the time.”

Let me just say three things about that: 1.) If education alone is the key to humanities problems a college campus would be the most moral place on the face of the earth and we know that is pretty much the opposite. 2.) Somebody who doesn’t think what we are taught and what we believe doesn’t end up affecting the way we act is completely clueless. This kind of thing is the fruit of the kind of philosophy that I read from the Humanist Manifesto and why is why world view is so important. 3.) I hope you come out of this message today seeing how sad this is and seeing that God has designed sex to be so much more than what these girls are talking about. It is so much more beautiful and special and spiritual than this.

That was the humanistic version. Think about the religious, legalistic version of this. It is not really biblical either. There is a couple of ways that this can go. One is the idea that sex is a duty that you endure to have children. There is kind of the youth group message of “don’t do this, it is dirty, vile, gross, you are going to get a disease, all these kind of things, save it for the one you love on your wedding night.” You know what, that is not really right either. Guys can hear that all day long and it is not going to affect them. I think sometimes women get that message and when they get married it can be hard to flip that switch. A lie is a lie. An untruth is an untruth whether it is packaged in a religious covering or some other kind covering. So what is the truth?
So with all that said in an introduction here are seven things that the Bible says about sex. Grab your Bibles or whatever you use. It will be up on the screen and follow along.

1. Sex is created and designed by God (Genesis 1:27-28, 31; 2:24-25). “So God created man in his own image. In the image of God he created him. Male and female he created them. Then God blessed them and God said to them be fruitful and multiply.” So God made men and women. He said go make babies. In essence he is saying go have sex. It is one of the first things he told them to do. This was God’s idea. Dr. Henry Brandt said, “God created all parts of the human body. He did not create some parts good and some bad; He created them all good, for when He had finished His creation, He looked at it and said, ‘It is all very good’ (Genesis 1:31).” It is obvious that God designed men and women for sex, for procreation physiologically. There is no way to argue with that. Satan did not come up with this. It was not like on the seventh day that God was taking a nap and Satan came down and said, “Hey Adam I want to show you something and I want to tell you I have something that you are really going to like.” God created us and designed us for monogamy. He created a man and a woman and he put them together. So something else this means practically. Every person is an image bearer of God. So when we have sex or think about sex it is with an image bearer and not an object. The reason why lust is wrong or pornography is wrong because it is taking someone who is an image bearer of God and turning them into an object. Here is something else to think about. I think sometimes we act like our bodies are something to be all prudish about. Our bodies are special and the reason the Bible teaches modesty is not because there is something wrong with our bodies it is because there is something wrong with our souls. Our souls have been corrupted by sin and so we turn people’s bodies into objects of lust. That is why the Bible talks about it and if you look into Chapter 2:25, “They were naked, Adam and Eve, the man and his wife and they were not ashamed.” So there is supposed to be a healthy freedom within marriage and modesty outside of that not because there is something wrong with any part of our body but because this is God’s design. It is special and certain parts of our body are only reserved for one person. I think it is important that we start with this idea that this was all God’s idea. He created it. He designed it and us for it. If we understand this came from Him, this is a very important piece of our thinking.

2. Sex is designed to be the consummation and binding of an exclusive, male-female, marital relationship. Let’s go to Genesis 2:24. I will just hit this quickly if you are not familiar with this teaching. Go on our website. Go to the Modern Family Series. Go to the first message in the series and that is what it is about. Genesis 2:24 says, “And man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.” This is God’s definition. This is God’s pattern of marriage. Man and woman leave their biological families to start their own family. How do they do this? They do this by publicly making vows to God and to each other. They enter into a covenant. To me that is the defining mark of marriage. Some people say sex is. What makes a marriage a marriage is the covenant that we make with each other and with God. So they leave. They join together, which means literally they are super glued together and then they consummate the relationship as it says and “they shall become one flesh.” So they go from making public vows to some private spot to actually act out physically what they have already done spiritually. They become a union. They joined their lives together and now they join their bodies together. This why sex before marriage, outside of marriage, by living together is not God’s plan because there is a pattern here. You leave, you join together and then you consummate. You give your hearts, your lives to each other. You make vows. You make a covenant together. You commit to each other. You close the back door. If you are living together the back door is always open and you can walk out at any time. Marriage is an unconditional commitment. It is a covenant and once you join your lives together then you join your bodies together. That is God’s plan. Sex is not just a physical act. It is not two highly evolved animals getting together and bumping bodies. It is two souls joining together after they have placed their lives together. That is a beautiful thing. What that says if you are not married and having sex is that God says repent and follow My pattern so that this can be everything that I have designed for it to be. But this would also say, I would think, that barring some type of physical problem it means that sex is a very intregal part of a marriage relationship because we are one flesh. It is the thing that keeps us from being a business transaction or a roommate agreement. So it is pretty important. Basically understand if we are truly making a covenant with another person and we are giving our lives to them we are also giving our sexuality to them and basically we are saying that all my sexual desires are all now bound up in you and yours are bound up in me. If someone turns that into a bait and switch, hey we are married, we had the honeymoon and now sex is not important; do you see what that is doing to that person at that point? There may be some reasons for it but I would encourage you if you are struggling with that to get some help.

3. Sex is pure within marriage and sinful in all cases outside of marriage. Sex is pure in marriage and sinful in cases outside of marriage. And I think that this is a really important statement and it is worded very specifically. C.S. Lewis wrote in Mere Christianity, “The Christian rule is either marriage, with complete faithfulness to your partner, or else total abstinence.” Where does this come from? Turn to Hebrews 13:4 if you have a Bible or it will be on the screen. Here is what Hebrews 13:4 says, “Marriage is honorable among all and the bed undefiled but fornicators and adulators God will judge.” Now marriage is honorable among all and it says the bed undefiled. I think when you hear bed undefiled it is probably pretty clear what that means. Let me make it a little bit stronger for you. Bed in this case is a euphemism. It comes from the Greek word koitae, which is from the Latin word which is coitus, which is the technical term for sexual intercourse and in the Greek language that is basically what it means. What it is literally saying is that marriage is honorable among all and sexual intercourse undefiled. So it is saying that sex within marriage is pure but then there is the contrast of fornicators and adulators God will judge. Now we will talk about that in just a second but let me give you this statement, “sex in and of itself is a beautiful and holy gift from God. It is not taking something dirty and making it holy by placing it in marriage but it is taking something holy and defiling it by using it outside of marriage.” I think that is a very important way to look at it because it gives us a healthy way to look at it within marriage and it gives us an appropriate way to look at it outside of marriage. Let me read that statement again, “Sex in and of itself is a beautiful and holy gift from God. It is not taking something dirty and making it holy by placing it in marriage but it is taking something holy and defiling it by using it outside of marriage.” I think there are four or five categories basically of sexual sin. Fornication is sex outside of marriage. It is basically kind of the junk drawer Greek term, porneia. We get the word pornography from it. Basically any kind of sexual sin is locked in there. Sometimes in the Bible it is used for sex between unmarried persons. Sex outside of marriage is sin. Extramarital sex is sin. That is what adultery is. Unnatural sex, which would be homosexuality, polygamy because God designed us to be married to one person not multiple people, incest, bestiality, and bisexuality; those kind of things would be unnatural sex outside the way that God has designed us. Let me just say to you that if you are struggling with any of those things particularly homosexuality, it is not natural. It is not of God but He loves you and we love you. We are not here to push you away. We are here for you. We love you enough to tell you the truth. We also love you enough to tell you that God has grace. If you are just struggling with feelings that is not sin. Talk to somebody. If you are sinning in this matter, sinning in any of these categories, sin is sin. Sin is sin and God will forgive. We will do all we can to help you. Another category would be abusive sex. When I say sin is sin this probably goes to another level because we are talking about multiple sins here. Here we are going to be talking about rape, pedophilia, and those kind of things. Then there is the heart issue of lust, which is often fueled by pornography. Now remember what you Jesus said in Sermon on the Mountain, “If a man looks at a woman to lust after her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” So there is sexual sin and God calls us to repent of those things. In 1 Thessalonians 4:3, Paul said, “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality.” If we are Christians that is God’s standard for our lives. That is his goal is for us to grow towards. If you are not a Christian he wants to set you free. He wants to put his truth within you to give you a way to think about this and a new way to live this out that is lining up with the way He has created the world. It is going to be healthy and helpful for you.

4. Sex is for intimate knowledge. If we go back to Genesis and remember what we read in 2:24-25, “They should become one flesh. They were both naked. The man and his wife were not ashamed.” Then Chapter 4:1 says that Adam knew Eve his wife and in the past I thought that was just the kind of King James prudish way of being tactful in saying this. The word in the Hebrew is expressive of intimate knowledge. It is a euphemism for sex but there is a point to it. The point is this; sex is more than just body to body. It is also soul to soul. I am telling you that the girls we read about in that article might think that they get drunk and hookup and that it might not mean anything but they are leaving a little part of themselves with those people. It will affect them. It will affect them. Sex is designed to be an expression of love and commitment. It is to be loving and serving instead of self-serving. If the relationship isn’t right the woman is going to end up feeling used. That’s just how it works. So it is for intimate knowledge. It is more than just a physical kind of thing.

5. Sex is for procreation. In a way that is obvious. I just want to state the implications of this a little bit. Look at the rest of Genesis 4:1. It says that Adam knew Eve his wife and she conceived and bore Cain and said, “I have acquired a man from the Lord.” Here is the point of this verse. God is the ultimate gift giver of life but he works through human means to accomplish that. I love what Rick Warren says about this. He says that there may be illegitimate parents but there are no illegitimate children. They come from God ultimately through human means. We have already read in Genesis 1 God said “be fruitful and multiply.” We read what God says about marriage in Malachi 2 when he says that part of the purpose of it is to have Godly offspring. What does that mean practically? Let me just say quickly: A.) We affirm a culture of life that values children as a blessing and stewardship form God in contrast to much of what our society says about children being a nuisance and a burden hindering you from self-fulfillment and that they ought to be avoided. Read Psalm 127:3-5. They are a gift from God. They are a stewardship from God. If you believe the Bible you will affirm a culture of life. B.) We affirm a culture of life that rejects abortion except to save a mother’s life. We are sorry if someone has been through a difficult situation, but it is not just to murder the child because of the situation. The only issue when it comes to abortion is whether or not that child is a living human being. This issue is turning in our society because medical science now clearly shows us that it is a living human being from the point of conception. Ethically once you settle that issue it is murder unless it is to save the mother’s life. C.) We affirm a culture of life that encourages adoption as the Holy Spirit leads families to do that. It is not a biblical commandment but a wonderful thing if God leads in that direction because there are certainly many children who need to be adopted. D.) We grieve with couples who desire to conceive and are having difficulty. We know that is a very painful thing. E.) We believe that having children is part of marriage biblically for those who are physically able but also believe that some people go overboard and get legalistic over this kind of thing so we don’t mandate that you have to have certain amount of children or something like that. We believe that is an issue that you should seek God on. I mean really seek God. I will tell you after Mollie was born she went through three weeks in the hospital and almost died and that kind of thing. We were like we are not going to have kids anymore because we were freaked out with that. I am glad that we did not do anything permanent then so we have Lillie now. So I am saying be very careful with that kind of thing, really seek God. We are not saying that you have to be the Duggars or something like that. God is ultimately the giver of life. So sex is for procreation.

6. Sex is to be the regular part of the marriage relationship. Let’s go to the New Testament now. Let’s go to 1 Corinthians Chapter 7. I am just going to hit this kind of quickly because I want to spend a little more time on the last point. 1 Corinthians Chapter 7 is really a straight forward text where the challenge is whether or not we are going to obey it. Verse 1 make it clear that Paul was answering questions written to him by the church at Corinth. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless because of sexual immorality let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband.” So Paul is saying if you are able to celibate, if you are not sexually tempted that is great. Don’t touch a woman. Go serve the Lord wholeheartedly, fully. Apparently what he did but if you are not wired that way you need to get married. You know I got married young and some people give me a hard time about that but I really think part of the reason and I know it is hard in our society today, that young men should try to be very diligent as you growing up to get an education, get a trade and prepare themselves and not wait. The trend in our society today is to wait until you are 30 to get married. You are creating a lot of sexual temptation for yourself if you do that. Let’s be real about it and really the reason people are waiting is because they don’t have any convictions about this kind of thing. If you have self-control that’s great and if not work towards marriage. That is a very practical kind of thing. I half way kid around about this, but I don’t think long engagements are great because if you are really made to be married and attracted to each other, you are fighting sexual temptation. Hopefully you are fighting it but why do that to yourself for years and years if you know that you have this commitment to each other. I mean just be real about this kind of stuff. It says then “let the husband render to his wife affection to her likewise also the wife to her husband.” Affection in this context means a little bit more than a hug and a peck on the cheek. “The wife does not have authority over her own body but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except for consent for a time that you might give yourself to fasting and prayer so that you may come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” So what are the commands here? The husband is to give his wife the affection he owes her and the wife is to give her husband the affection she owes him. It says “Husbands and wives are not to deprive” and that word literally means to rob one another unless it is for a specified for an amount of time for prayer and fasting. The basis of this is that the wife’s body belongs to her husband the husband’s body belongs to his wife. When we got married we literally gave all of ourselves including our bodies to our spouse. The reasons he gives for this are robbing each other, deprive one another, and then in verse 5 he says, “It gives Satan an opportunity to bring temptation into the marriage.” Now let me say this, if you have sexual problems in the marriage relationship it is not an excuse for some kind of sexual sin and you can have a good sexual relationship and your spouse still can be sinful and misuse this and sin in this way, commit adultery, pornography, whatever. I am not saying this is a foolproof kind of thing but as a general common sense kind of principle, a healthy sexual relationship between a husband and wife is the greatest antidote there is for sexual temptation. I will be brave enough to say men that if you are married and that is the case you know that is true. That is what he is saying here we are to give ourselves to each other, wait for marriage, and then meet the other person’s needs. That may require some give and take, maybe some I don’t know if this is the right word some sacrifice and may in some cases require putting the other person ahead of yourself because real life is not the movies. You are two unique people who probably don’t have the exact same sex drive at the same exact time and everything. Clothes don’t magically fly off and you have a musical score in the background and both of you are on the exact same page at the exact same time and so it is part of the reason why that marriage is work and that marriage is a sanctifying thing because it requires us to act with love and put the other person ahead of ourselves, which exposes our sinful selfishness. That is the principle it gives here. Sex is to be a priority, a regular part of the marriage relationship.

7. Sex is designed by God for physical pleasure. Last thing; let’s go back to the Old Testament. Let’s go to the Song of Solomon. Just to kind of set this up we are going to read chapters 3-4. Let’s go back to Chapter 1 for just a second just to help us get something here. This is Solomon who is the King and his bride who is referred to as the as the Shulamite. Apparently she was a peasant. She was kind of a farm girl. You know opposites attract and this would be kind of an extreme example of that. We still see it today opposites attract. Me and Robin, she is kind of bubbly and outgoing, vivacious, big personality and I barely have a personality; opposites attract. You have Shane and Leann. Leann is really sweet. You got Rusty and Lori. I mean 20 years ago if you told me Rusty was going to marry somebody with a PhD I would have laughed in your face. You know you can’t judge a book by its cover, but Rusty has to because he has never read past the cover but he married a PhD. So you know opposites attract. This must be an extreme example of that here. She says, “I am dark but lovely oh daughters of Jerusalem like the tents of Kedar, like the curtains of Solomon. Do not look upon me because I am dark because the sun has tanned me. My mother’s sons are angry with me. They made me the keeper of the vineyards but my own vineyard I have not kept.” In other words, she had been outside working in the sun and she is not taking care of herself. She is not exactly prepared for the wedding in the way a Jewish woman is supposed to be prepared. She was not Esther spending a year beautifying herself before she goes and meets with the King but apparently Solomon was attracted to her and loved her anyway. We come to Chapter 3:6 and basically you have the wedding ceremony. It says, “Who is this coming out the wilderness like pillars of smoke perfumed with myrrh and frankincense with all the merchants’ fragrant powders? Behold it is Solomon’s couch. With sixty valiant men around it of the valiant of Israel. They all hold swords being expert in war. Every man his sword on his thigh because of fear in the night.” So they have a wedding party, and he has sixty groomsmen with swords. He is taking care of her. This is a pretty massive thing here. I thought we had a pretty big wedding when we had ten bridesmaids and ten groomsmen. My problem was Robin had more friends than me. I was trying to pull guys off the street. You have a tux? Do you want to be in a wedding? I had one thing in my wedding though that Solomon didn’t. I had Rusty Arwood sporting a mullet in my wedding. It was a special thing I am telling you. There are pictures if you ever want to see them. Just come over to the house. It says “Of the wood of Solomon the King made himself a palanquin. He made his pillars of silver. Its support of gold. Its seat of purple. Its interior paved with love by the daughters of Jerusalem.” Verse 11 talks about his mother crowning him with a crown. That was part of a wedding ceremony back then. So there was this massive production. If you have seen one of the Royal weddings on TV, this would have dwarfed that probably. Solomon was the richest man in the world and this would have been a massive thing. So they got married. But then believe it or not, the Bible in the next chapter describes their honeymoon. It begins by describing her. It says, “Behold, you are fair my love! You have dove’s eyes behind your veil. Your hair is like a flock of goats going down from Mount Gilead. Your teeth are like a flock of shorn sheep, which have come up from the washings. Every one of which has borne twins. And none is barren among them.” Remember we kind of have to contextualize Scripture. This was recording what happened. Remember this was ancient Near Eastern love poetry. Don’t necessarily try this at home. You know what I am saying, “hey baby you have some sexy teeth.” I don’t know how that is going to work for you guys. You can try and give a testimony if you want. One thing about it is he is speaking her language here. She would have understood goats and those kinds of things because she worked outdoors. There is something to learn there. Understand he starts by praising her. It says, “Your lips are like a strand of scarlet. And your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like a piece of pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David built like an armory. On which hang a thousand bucklers. All shields of mighty men. Your two breasts are like two fawns. Twins of a gazelle. Which feed among the lilies. Until the day breaks And the shadows flee away I will go my way to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of frankincense.” And yes that means what you think it means. It says, “Your all fair my love.” It means you are perfect. There is no flaw in you. Once we get married, our spouse is our standard of beauty. That’s why it is so important to guard our eyes. We need to treat our wives as if to say “you are it, only you.” “Come with me from Lebanon my spouse, with me from Lebanon. Look from the top of Amana, from the top of Senir and Hermon, from the lions’ dens, from the mountains of the leopards. You have ravished my heart, My sister.” Sister was used as a term of affection back then. It is not anything weird. “You have ravished my heart with one look of your eyes, with one link of your necklace. How fair is your love My sister, my spouse! How much better than wine is your love, And the scent of your perfumes and all spices! Your lips oh my spouse, drip as the honeycomb; honey and milk are under your tongue.” Maybe we should call it Hebrew kissing instead of French kissing because you know this is way before there was a France. “And the fragrance of your garments is like the fragrance of Lebanon.” “A garden enclosed is My sister, my spouse. A spring shut up. A fountain closed.” In other words, you know what he is saying there? She saved herself for their wedding. Then it says, your fruits are like an orchard of pomegranates, fragrant henna with spikenard. Spikenard and saffron, Calamus and cinnamon, With all trees of frankincense, myrrh, and aloes with all the chief spices… A fountain of gardens, A well of living waters, And streams from Lebanon.” And then here is her invitation; Awake O north wind, And come O south! Blow upon my garden, That its spices may flow out. Let my beloved come to his garden and eat its pleasant fruits.” So she gives him an invitation in Chapter 5:1 that says, “I have come to my garden My sister, my spouse; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk.” In other words they consummated their relationship. I go through all that just to get to this one point. Look at the end of chapter 5, verse 1. If we really get this it is a transforming thing on how we think about sex. “Eat, O friends! Drink, yes, drink deeply, O beloved ones!” Now friends watching may sound kind of weird here. What is going on here? It is not him speaking. It is God speaking. Here is what Craig Glickman says about this; “He [God] lifts His voice and gives hearty approval to the entire night. He vigorously endorses and affirms the love of this couple. He takes pleasure in what has taken place. He is glad they have drunk deeply of the fountain of love. Two of His own have experienced love in all the beauty and fervor and purity that He intended for them. In fact, He urges them on to more . . . . That is his attitude toward the giving of their love to each other. And by the way, that’s also His attitude toward married couples today.” In the book Intimate Issues, a woman named Beth is quoted as saying, “God designs sex to be for pleasure for married couples who have given their lives to each other as an expression of love for the rest of their lives. So it is a really, really important thing.”

Now to close this, let me give you some applications to think about.
Conclusion-Applications:
1. Conform our thinking on this issue to biblical truth.
2. If you are not married, save yourself for marriage. Andy Stanley says, “Purity now leads to intimacy later.” Purity now leads to intimacy and that is the truth.
3. If you are married, what is the application? Understand that this is a really important part of our lives and be obedient to Scripture and work to make this part of your relationship everything it should be for your spouse and you.
4. Let me read this Scripture . 1 Corinthians 6:9-11 says this, “Do you not know the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God. Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.” Now listen to this, “And such were some of you. But you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus and by the Spirit of our God.” Listen, you may have a past but if you are in Christ it is who you were. It is not who you are. Live in that. If you are living in some kind of sin right now it can be in your past. Jesus will forgive you. God is a gracious God.

(Sorry this is a little late!)

Background of the Book of Nehemiah

1. Background of the book: In the Hebrew Bible, the books of Ezra and Nehemiah go together as one book. There is scholarly debate regarding the authorship, but I believe Ezra wrote the book that is called Ezra and the same with Nehemiah. Nehemiah and Ezra worked together. Ezra was the Bible teacher and Nehemiah more of the administrator and overall leader.
2. Historical Background: Nehemiah was in the king’s palace at Susa in the month of Chislev (which is roughly November or December on our calendar) when Hanani came with men from Judah, and Nehemiah asked him about Jerusalem and the remnant of people who had returned there. Hanani told him that the walls were “broken down and its gates are burned with fire.” This was both a dangerous and embarrassing situation. They were in this predicament because of their unfaithfulness to God so they were failing to be a light to the Gentiles and instead bringing reproach on the name of God. In regard to the historical background, the study notes in the Believer’s Study Bible say, “Just as the Israelites were taken into exile in three successive stages (605, 597, 586 B.C.), they returned in three stages. The first stage occurred under the leadership of Sheshbazzar and Zerubbabel (538 B.C.). After a long delay, this return resulted in the rebuilding of the temple (520-516 B.C.), encouraged by the prophets Haggai and Zechariah. Ezra led the second return in the seventh year of Artaxerxes I (458 B.C.; cf. Ezra 7:1, 8). Nehemiah led the final return in the twentieth year of Artxerxes I.”
3. Background on Nehemiah: Nehemiah was the cupbearer of King Artaxerxes I. He was an ordinary person in the sense that he was not royalty or a religious leader. However, he must have been a man of great character who proved himself trustworthy to be placed in a position such as this, although I am sure it was providential as well. The cupbearer tasted the king’s wine to make sure it was not poisoned and assassinations were common in the Persian Empire. Therefore, he was risking his life, but apart from that, he would have enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle in the king’s palace. The cupbearers often became confidants and advisors to the kings because they were so trusted. God obviously used this when he gave Nehemiah the burden to rebuild the walls in Jerusalem, which was a 140 year old problem. Nehemiah sacrificially left the king’s court to undertake the solving of this problem, which God supernaturally accomplished through his leadership in 52 days. Nehemiah displayed incredible leadership skills in completing this project.
4. Theme: God is sovereignly working on behalf of His people, but He works through the faith, prayers, and obedience of His people. Nehemiah is a tremendous example of the interacting of divine sovereignty and human responsibility. There are also tremendous leadership principles exemplified through the story of Nehemiah (see #6).
5. Outline: This is certainly not an exhaustive outline, but I think there are two main parts to the book. Basically, the first six chapters are about the rebuilding of the wall, and the last seven chapters are about the repopulating of the city, the reforming of God’s people, and the spiritual renewing of those people.
6. Spiritual Leadership Principles In The Book Of Nehemiah:
A godly leader:
1. Is burdened for the good of the world and the good of God’s people (1:4).
2. Prays fervently (1:5-11).
3. Takes bold and obedient action (2:1-6).
4. Strategizes and raises the resources necessary to do the work (2:4-9).
5. Lives in trusting dependence upon the Lord (sprinkled throughout the book, we see Nehemiah asking God to remember him as he faces a situation and him referring to God’s hand being upon him).
6. Clearly communicates vision and calls others to action (2:17-18).
7. Builds a team with people accepting responsibility where they are gifted (ch. 3, this is also exemplified in the book by Nehemiah being the administrator and Ezra the teacher).
8. Perseveres through criticism and opposition to fulfill the mission (ch. 4, 6).
9. Deals with internal problems within the team (5:1-13).
10. Makes personal sacrifices (5:14-19).
11. Refuses to compromise his integrity and the Word of God (6:1-14).
12. Raises up other leaders (7:1-3).
13. Ministers the Word of God and leads people to worship and confess sin (8:8, 9:1-3).
14. Refuses to give up and sees the work through to the end (ch. 13).

Thankfulness

I hope everyone has a safe, happy, and blessed Thanksgiving. I also hope that Thanksgiving is not just an excuse to eat a lot of good food and watch some football or the only time of year we remember to have a degree of gratitude. It is easy to take things for granted some times. I know I am guilty of that at times. So, with those things in mind, here are a couple of quick thoughts about thankfulness.

There is a story from the life and ministry of the Lord Jesus that is recorded in Luke 17:11-19, where he healed 10 lepers. Jesus sent them to the priests to be declared cleansed from the leprosy in order to fulfill the Law of the Lord (Leviticus 14:2). Of the ten lepers who were healed, only one, who happened to be a Samaritan instead of a Jew, returned to see Jesus. When he came back to Jesus, he “with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks.” Jesus responded to his response by saying, “Were there not ten cleansed? But where are the nine? Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?”

Here is the practical thought for us. In the way we live our day to day lives, are we more like the nine or the one Samaritan who returned to thank Jesus and glorify God? How often do we thank God for our blessings? Thanksgiving is an expression of faith (Luke 17:19). Thankfulness demonstrates dependence upon God. It shows that we believe He is the source of our blessings instead of ourselves. Thankfulness is giving glory to God instead of ourselves.

Let me leave you with a few Scriptures to consider at Thanksgiving this year. James 1:17 says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow of turning.” Ephesians 1:3 says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with ever spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” Psalm 95:2 says, “Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.”

Why Do Christians Not Keep The Sabbath Today?

I touched on the 4th command, which is “remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy,” during yesterday’s sermon. A common question regarding this command is, “Why don’t Christians keep this Sabbath command like the Old Testament Jews did?” I thought it might be helpful to give a more detailed answer to this question than I did in the message. I am going to give a couple of introductory thoughts and then nine reasons why we primarily practice corporate worship on Sunday as a celebration of the Lord’s Day instead of keeping the Sabbath on Saturday. Of course, we are to worship God every day. Also, this is not an area to be dogmatic and judgmental about (Romans 14:5-6). We must also remember Mark 2:27-28, where Jesus said, “The Sabbath was made for man and not man for the Sabbath. Therefore, the Son of Man is also Lord of the Sabbath.” So, here are the nine reasons.

(1) The Sabbath is for the Jews (Exodus 31:12-17) while the Lord’s Day is for Christians. Exodus 31:13 makes it very clear that the Sabbath is for the Children of Israel. It is different for the Church.
(2) Jews worshipped in the Synagogue on Saturday while Christians worshipped in the church on Sunday. The Sabbath is the symbol for the Jews and the cross is the symbol of Christianity. Jesus was raised from the dead on Sunday, and Christians commemorate that event when gathering to worship. Also, the Lord’s Supper replaced the Old Testament observance of Passover, and the high priesthood of Christ replaced the priesthood of Aaron.
(3) The Sabbath celebrates God’s creation of the world (Exodus 20:8-11) while the Lord’s Day celebrates Jesus’ redemption of the world.
(4) The New Testament pictures the disciples meeting together on the 1st and 2nd Lord’s Days after the Resurrection (John 20:19, 26), the Holy Spirit was poured out on the Day of Pentecost which would have been a Sunday (Acts 2:1), the disciples at Troas gathered for worship (preaching and Communion) on Sunday [Acts 20:7-12], Paul commanded the church at Corinth to take an offering on the 1st day of the week (1 Corinthians 16:2), and the Lord spoke to John on the Lord’s Day (Revelation 1:10).
(5) We are not to judge someone about observing the Sabbath because it is just a shadow (picture) but the substance (reality) is Christ (Col. 2:16-17) so keeping the Sabbath does not apply to Christians.
(6) The Sabbath is connected to the ceremonial law and the sacrificial system which does not apply to Christians because of being fulfilled by Christ (Book of Hebrews, Leviticus 23:23-25, Numbers 28:9-10)
(7) It also is part of the national Law of Israel. We are not capable of doing some of the things commanded in their law because our laws are different today. It is not consistent to partially observe what the Bible teaches about the Sabbath and claim to be biblical.
(8) It is the only one of the 10 commandments that is not repeated in the New Testament. Thus, I believe it is not part of the moral law of God but the ceremonial law and national law of Israel.
(9) It is sometimes argued that this change was instituted by the Roman Catholic Church. However, there is historical evidence that indicates otherwise. Gleason Archer shares from the Syriac The Teaching of the Apostles, which dates to the second half of the third century. It relates, “The Apostles further appointed: On the first day of the week let there be service and the reading of the Holy Scriptures, and the oblation: because on the first day of the week our Lord rose from the dead, and on the first day of the week He ascended up to heaven.”

When And How Do We Receive the Holy Spirit?

Someone recently asked me a Bible question, and I thought it would be good to share the question and my answer in this blog in hopes of instructing others as well. It is a good question that many people have. It is one that I have had in the past.

My summary of the question is, “Do we receive the Holy Spirit when we are saved or does that happen after we are saved?” The person asking the question has been taught and believes that it happens at salvation but read some verses in Acts that seemed to indicate that it happens later. Here is my answer.

1 Corinthians 12:13 says, “For by one Spirit we were all baptized into one body-whether Jews or Greeks, whether slaves or free-and have all been made to drink into one Spirit.” The phrase, “we were all,” indicates that this is true of every Christian, which could only be possible if we receive the Spirit when we get saved.

Romans 8:9 says, “But you are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if indeed the Spirit of God dwells in you. Now if anyone does not have the Spirit of Christ, he is not His.” This verse tells us we are not saved if we don’t have the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, “Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

Galatians 3:2 says, “This only I want to learn from you: Did you receive the Spirit by the works of the law, or by the hearing of faith?” This verse, especially in the context of Galatians 3, clearly connects receiving the Spirit to placing faith in Jesus.

Ephesians 1:13 says, “In Him you also trusted, after you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation; in whom also, having believed, you were sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise.” This verse shows us that we are sealed with the Holy Spirit when we believe.

Titus 3:5 says, “Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.” This shows that the washing of the Holy Spirit is part of salvation.

1 John 4:13 says, “By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us because He has given us of His Spirit.” Part of the proof that we are saved is being indwelled by the Spirit.

So to me, these verses are very clear. However, what does that mean in regard to the verses you were asking about and other similar verses in the book of Acts? This is my understanding. It is a common evangelical understanding of the book. On the Day of Pentecost as recorded in Acts 2, they were indwelled by the Holy Spirit with the outward proof of tongues, which gave them the ability to proclaim the gospel in a variety of languages to the crowd from many nations. After this, there were several “mini-Pentecosts” (chapter 8, Gentiles being saved in chapter 10, chapter 19) where people were saved and then received the Holy Spirit afterwards in some cases, often with the outward proof of speaking in tongues. The point was to give outward evidence that these people were really getting saved. The Jews would not have accepted the salvation of the Gentiles without some outward proof. I do not think this is my theological conjecture either. In Acts 15 at the Jerusalem council, the early church leaders were discussing the salvation of the Gentiles and the true nature of the gospel. Peter said (v. 8), “So God, who knows the heart, acknowledged them by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as He did to us.” The way they knew they received the Spirit was through the outward evidence of speaking in tongues. They did not have the completed canon of Scripture. Acts is a transitional book. I think the epistles show how things work for us today.

Practical Tips For Time Management

I wanted to follow up the message from Sunday with some practical tips for time management. I don’t claim to be an expert on this topic, but these are suggestions that have been helpful to me over the years. This is something that used to be a weakness for me that I have worked hard at over the years, although some of the things that I am mentioning are still a work in progress for me. I don’t think we can take living for Jesus seriously without taking time seriously. Here is a reminder of the two convictions we focused on during Sunday’s message:

1. Live every day to be ready for the final Day (Hebrews 9:27, Revelation 20:11-15, 1 Corinthians 3:10-15).
2. Time is life so what our life becomes is determined by how we spend our time (Ephesians 5:15-18).

To live out these convictions and invest (and we should view time as something not to be spent but to be invested as a steward of God) our time wisely, here are some practical suggestions:

1. Remember the Sabbath day. God has set up the rhythm of the world to be that we work six days and rest one day. I don’t think this is binding on us in a religious sense because we are New Testament Christians celebrating the resurrection on Sunday instead of Old Testament Jews observing the Sabbath on Saturday. However, it is a wisdom principle for us to live by. We need a day to relax, unwind, refocus, worship, and connect with our loved ones. I have always found when I have had pastoral emergencies, not managed my time well, and/or been in a busy season and not followed this that after 2 or 3 weeks that it has negative effects on me spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally, and relationally. We just do not function the right way without some breaks.

2. Make it an appointment to begin the day spending time with God and let everything else flow out of that. Mark 1:35 says, “Now in the morning, having risen a long while before daylight, He [Jesus] went out and departed to a solitary place; and there He prayed.” After salvation, this may be the most life changing thing we can do.

3. Determine our God-given priorities, and as much as we can, schedule based on those priorities and not just out of circumstances. How do we do this? Look at Scripture and determine those things we know that God has called us to do and put them on the calendar first.

4. Say no to activities that do not line up with our God-given priorities as much as possible.

5. Plan a weekly and daily schedule. Set aside a little bit of time each week to sync schedules with your spouse if you are married. Many of us have to plan our time at work, but we should also plan for family time as well. God wants us to have fun too.

6. Combine activities together when possible. Here are some examples of what I mean. I either have lunch meetings or study during lunch and gain four hours a week by doing that. Involve your kids with you in ministry or in household projects and accomplish three things (the task, family time, and practical training) at once. Listen to the Bible, sermons, podcasts, etc. while driving or exercising and accomplish two things at once. There are lots of ways we can maximize our time in this manner.

7. Do the most important or hardest thing first each day.

8. Remember that we have to discipline ourselves to use our time well, which often means willing ourselves to do things instead of doing what we feel like doing.

9. Analyze how we are using our time so we can improve it. Look especially for the time wasters in our lives.

10. Schedule margin in our schedules because things always come and life doesn’t usually go as planned. The rule of thumb is that the more we are involved with people in our life the more margin we need in our schedule. !

11. Focus on results instead of activities. In other words, do not be busy just for the sake of being busy (which is the American way of life), but focus on doing on what we need to do to accomplish what God is calling us to accomplish with our lives.

“The Faith”

We are preparing to host the “Think Again” worldview conference next month. This blog post connects to why we are doing the conference. When we think of faith, we usually think of it (correctly, by the way) as a verb that refers to believing in something or someone. However, the New Testament also uses faith as a noun by using the phrase, “the faith.” It is used like this in two ways. The phrase is used to refer to someone who is a genuine believer, as in they are in “the faith.” The second usage (and the one I am focusing on in this blog) uses “the faith” in reference to the body of revealed Christian doctrine in the New Testament. So, there is a sense in which we are to have faith in Jesus and faith in “the faith,” of which Jesus stands at the center. Here is what Jude 3-4 says about this, “Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ.”

According to Jude 3-4, the nature of the faith is:
1. It is clearly defined. It is “the faith.” The faith is the basic core of Christian doctrine that is clearly revealed in the New Testament. We are not called to have faith in faith (as in we can believe whatever as long as we believe something) but faith in “the faith.” It is not what we choose to believe but what God tells us to believe through the Apostles (Acts 2:42). The basics of the faith are: God is Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, three persons who are the one God, coequal and co-eternal; Jesus Christ is fully God and fully man, born of a virgin, lived a perfect and sinless life, died on the cross as the substitutionary sacrifice for our sins, was bodily raised from the dead, ascended to heaven, and is someday literally coming back to earth; the Bible is the Word of God, inspired, inerrant, and infallible; and salvation is by grace through faith alone. Really, it is the things that are connected to the gospel. Paul told the church at Philippi to “stand fast in one spirit, with one mind striving together for the faith of the gospel” (Philippians 1:27). 1 Corinthians 15:3 teaches us that the gospel is of first priority. That is what we are to unite around. Jude 4 even strongly implies that false religions pervert the person and work of Jesus Christ and deny the grace of God.
2. It is totally exclusive. That is reflected in the fact that it is “the faith.” In fact, it is the one and only faith that is real and true. This is the faith while all competing belief systems are satanic deceptions.
3. It is permanently settled. It is “once for all” delivered to the saints. It does not change with the times but is the unchanging truth of God.
4. It is divinely revealed. It is “delivered to the saints.” By whom? By God the Holy Spirit. Man did not create or invent it, but it was given to him by God. Therefore, we are stewards who are to guard this treasure that was given to us by God. It is not to be tampered with.
5. It is subtly attacked. This is what verse 4 teaches us, and this is why we must contend for it. There is no need to defend something that is not being attacked.

What happens when people deny the faith?

1. It sometimes leads to legalism (1 Timothy 4:1-5).
2. Or, it leads to licentiousness (where people use a confused notion of love and grace to live however they want to live) [Jude 4, Titus 1:10-16].

What should we do with this teaching?

1. Make sure we know Jesus.
2. Make sure our doctrine is sound.
3. Be willing to die for “the faith,” but know which hills to die on and where to agree to disagree.
4. Separate from those who profess to be Christians and deny the faith (Romans 16:17-18). Share Jesus with those who do not know Him.

“Turning The World Upside Down”

When I started blogging earlier this year, I said that I would only do it if I was going to be consistent with it. I started out that way, but it has gone by the wayside over the last few months. I have been so busy that I have just not had time. God has been blessing and doing a lot of great things, and I am just trying to keep up with it. One of the things I am working on right now is getting prepared to go to Honduras next week. Keith Rickard and I are going down for a week, and we would really appreciate your prayers. I am preaching six times at Communion Baptist Church next weekend for their Missions Conference and anniversary celebration, and I am really honored and excited to have that opportunity. They gather all of their church plants together for this. We are also ordaining three of our church planters as pastors, working on February’s trip, and visiting the church plants (Keith will be preaching there). This is one of the messages for the conference, and I thought I would share it with you as well.

In Acts 17:6 the opponents of Christianity accused the early Christians of turning the world upside down. In reality, they were setting this sinful world right side up when they did this. The United States needs to be turned upside down. Only the Church of Jesus Christ operating in the power of the Holy Spirit and the power of the gospel can have that kind of impact on this sinsickened world. What will it look like for us to turn the world upside down? How can we accomplish this?

What does it look like for the church to turn the world upside down?

1. Lots of people will become followers of Jesus. Three thousand people got saved in Jerusalem in Acts 2. Thousands more get saved in chapter 4. Chapter 6 says “the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem.” In chapter 8, multitudes got saved in Samaria, and the Ethiopian eunuch got saved in the desert. Saul, whose name became Paul, met Jesus in chapter 9. Cornelius and a group of Gentiles became Christians in Acts 10. In chapter 11, “a great number believed and turned to the Lord” in Antioch. I could keep going, but I think that you get the picture. Changed lives are the point of it all. As individual lives are changed; families, communities, and even cities are changed.

2. Cities Are Changed. Examples of this are Samaria in Acts 8 and Ephesus in Acts 19.

3. People are healed (3:1-10, 8:7, 9:32-43). God does not always heal people physically, but sometimes He does, and the church is to pray for healing (James 5:13-18). God is a miracleworking God who does supernatural things.

4. Churches are planted. We see this in Acts 11 when the disciples were scattered by persecution. As they went, they shared Jesus with people. Many people were saved at Antioch so the church in Jerusalem dispatched Barnabas, who also took Paul, and they taught the people for a year. They developed into a church because Acts 11:26 and 13:1 call them a “church. Then, the leaders of this new church, under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, sent Paul and Barnabas out on the 1st Misisonary Journey where they proclaimed the gospel, discipled the converts, established leaders, and ultimately, planted churches in cities including Lystra, Iconium, Antioch (14:21-23), Galatia (16:6), Philippi (16:9-15), Thessalonica (17:1-4), Corinth (18:1-11), and Ephesus (19:1-10).

How can the church be used by God to turn the world upside down?

1. Have a genuine encounter with the risen Lord Jesus (1:1-3). This is how they went from cowards to world-changers.

2. Be filled with the Holy Spirit (1:8, 4:31). It can only happen in God’s power and not in ours.

3. Pray in faith and with passion (4:23-31). God works through the prayers of His people. He wants us to depend on His power instead of our own. Prayer puts us in touch with heaven’s resources.

4. They talked about Jesus wherever they went. Just look at the example in number one above. They preached to large crowds and talked to people one on one.

5. Courageous obedience that involves the surrender of our lives (see chapters 4, 5, 7, and 16, among other examples). They were willing to die for Jesus. Many, such as Stephen, did die for Him. They had courage and were obedient, even when it cost them greatly. We cannot change the world without paying a price.

Are you willing to do what it takes to be used by God in turning the world upside down or are you just going to sit around and complain about everything that is wrong in the world?

Leftovers From Sunday

I mentioned during the message in both services yesterday that I would attempt to answer your questions and share in writing some of the material I used yesterday that was not included in your notes. This is that attempt plus a few additional thoughts of mine.

Additional Thoughts

-I would encourage you to listen to the messages from Ephesians on thetruelifechurch.com if you missed any or all of them. They seem to have been helpful to people.

-I think yesterday’s message was challenging for both men and women. My job as a preacher of God’s Word is to make His truth clear and call us to trust Jesus to enable us to live it out. I think I should be real and say that I have been convicted in preparing the messages and expressed sorrow to Robin for the many times over the years that I have failed to lead and love her like I should. It is important that we not try to lower God’s standards but that we repent of our sinful shortcomings and seek Jesus for the grace to become more of who He is calling us to be.

-I wanted to clarify one statement just to make sure there was no confusion. When I was talking about women being confusing to men near the end of the message, I did not mean that in any negative way toward women but was referring to the fact that men have trouble understanding women (like women have trouble understanding men) just because we are so different, which is why John Gray made a boatload of money off of “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.”

Materials For Men

As we looked at Ephesians 5:22-33, we spelled out the husband’s role as leading like Jesus through loving His wife like Jesus. Here are the nine statements I made to amplify his leadership role and quotes from Bryan Chappell and James Dobson about it.

Most of these statements are adapted from a chapter by John Piper in the book, “Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood.” Godly, loving leadership by a husband:

1. Answers God’s call to provide for, protect (physically, spiritually, and emotionally), and be a priest to his family.

2. Serves instead of demanding to be served.

3. Points to Jesus instead of himself.

4. Leads a team instead of acting as the superior.

5. Does not initiate every action but provides a pattern and develops a culture.

6. Accepts the burden of the final say in disagreements.

7. Pursues his wife romantically and sexually.

8. Leads in disciplining the children when both are present.

9. Recognizes leadership as a call to humility and repentance.

Bryan Chappell-“The example the husband sets has eternal consequences. This means headship is more about controlling one’s character than controlling one’s wife. The man who is more concerned with how his wife should obey him than with how he should obey God fails the kindergarten of biblical headship.”

James Dobson-“A Christian man is obligated to lead his family to the best of his ability…If his family has purchased too many items on credit, then the financial crunch is ultimately his fault. If the family never reads the Bible or seldom goes to church on Sunday, God holds the man to blame. If the children are disrespectful and disobedient, the primary responsibility lies with the father…not his wife…In my view, America’s greatest need is for husbands to begin guiding their families, rather than pouring every physical and emotional resource into the mere acquisition of money.”

Materials For Women

Nancy De Moss-“We simply can’t have our cake and eat it, too. We can’t insist on running the show and then expect men to be proactive, take initiative, and be ‘spiritual leaders’…You must be willing to let him fail-believing that ultimately, your security is not in your husband but in a sovereign God who is not going to fail you.”

How To Show Respect To Your Husband from Shaunti Feldhahn’s book, “For Women Only”

1. Why is respect and affirmation so important to a man? Mrs. Feldman writes, “Finally, the lightbulb came on: If a man feels disrespected, he is going to feel unloved. And what that translates to is this: If you want to love your man in the way he needs to be loved, then you need to ensure that he feels your respect most of all.” A marriage counselor said to her, “Affirmation is everything. When a man is affirmed, he can conquer the world. When he’s not, he is sapped of his confidence and even his feeling of manhood. And believe me, he will, consciously or unconsciously, seek out places where he receives affirmation.” Why is this the case?

A. Insecurity

B. Difficulty with openness (“The only time a guy’s guard is completely down is with the woman he loves. So she can pierce his heart like no one else can.”)

2. Affirmation

A. Verbally (example of Proverbs 7)

B. Sexually. She writes, “For your husband, sex is more than just a physical need. Lack of sex is as emotionally serious to him as, say, his sudden silence would be to you, were he simply to stop communicating with you. Making love with you assures him that you find him desirable, salves a deep sense of loneliness, and gives him the strength and well-being necessary to face the world with confidence. And, of course, sex also makes him feel loved. At the most basic level, your man wants to be wanted.”

C. In difficult times

3. Respect

A. His judgment

B. His abilities

C. In communication

D. In public

E. In assumptions (give the benefit of the doubt)

Questions And Answers

These are the questions that were submitted yesterday with my attempts at answering them. They are good and practical questions. My answers aren’t the final answers but hopefully give some guidance.

1. What do wives do if husbands won’t or don’t lead? This is a question that is difficult to answer in a vacuum without knowing the specifics of a given situation, but this is what I would say generally about it. First of all, remember that submission is an attitude that expresses itself in action. If your attitude and desire is to submit, you are in the right place. If he is not leading, you are not working against his leadership. I would encourage you to pray for him, encourage him, and show him unconditional love. I would encourage you to try to avoid filling his role as much as possible and leave a hole with the hope of him stepping it to fill it instead of you making it easy for him. However, if it is harming your children in some way, I think at that point you have to do what is needed for them even if it means taking some responsibility that should belong to him. For example, if a man who professes to be a Christian is not giving his children any spiritual training, at some point, I think a mother should step up and fill that gap to some degree.

2. How do wives help husbands want to lead and become Christ-like in nature and mind?

Pray for him and expect God to develop him into this kind of man. Encourage him. Let him know that you believe in him. Affirm the progress you see in him. Be willing to give up some time for him to spend in pursuing God and doing ministry. Unless it is excessively out of balance, encourage him in spending his time in this way. Realize you will have to make some sacrifices too for him to become everything the Lord wants him to be. Be willing to obey and follow the Lord’s leading together with him. In other words, don’t encourage this in him until it starts to make you uncomfortable or require some sacrifices from you. Sometimes a wife’s vision of what this should look like can end up being different than God’s vision. Resist the trap of comparing him to other men or comparing your relationship to other relationships.

3. How do wives become submissive when they have been independent prior to married status? Marrying a man that you trust and are confident in his leadership is helpful. However, submission is ultimately to the Lord so see this as an act of obedience to God first and foremost and seek Him for the grace, strength, and wisdom to be able to follow your husband’s leadership.

What A Man Is Called To

I have been writing about the prosperity gospel on this blog, and I plan on continuing with that theme, but I wanted to share something for and about men in advance of Father’s Day. I personally believe the greatest need in America is for godly men because that is so foundational to everything else. I am tired of men being so disparaged in our culture today. However, it is a great challenge to be the kind of man God calls us to be. I feel like I fall so far short in rising to that challenge. We have a lot of balls to juggle. Here are the foundational roles God calls us to as men:

1. A Relationship With God (1:26-27, 2:7, 3:8): This is what we were created for. This is where life truly comes from. Men tend to have a problem with pride and self-sufficiency. We often want to do things our own way. However, God wants us to live in dependence upon Him. He wants us to live like we are the creature and He is the Creator, like He is the Lord and we are the servants. Adam had everything, but he fell when he disobeyed God. Our sin has also separated us from God so the first step spiritually is for us to give our lives to Christ so we can have a relationship with God. We desperately need the grace of God. We then need to discipline ourselves to grow in grace and walk in fellowship with the Lord. 1 Timothy 4:7 tells us to discipline ourselves for the purpose of godliness. 2 Peter 3:18 says, “But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

2. A Relationship With His Wife (1:26-27, 2:18-25): Adam lived in paradise but something was missing without Eve. We need our wives. Marriage is designed to be a relationship where we complete and compliment one another. It is a total union defined by complete commitment. We are called to honor our wives (1 Peter 3:7) and to love and lead them (Ephesians 5:22-33).

3. Fatherhood (1:28): We are told to be fruitful and multiply. Malachi 2:15 teaches us that part of the purpose of marriage is raising godly offspring. We are called to train our children (see Deuteronomy 6 and Ephesians 6).

4. Work (1:26-31, 2:15): God created us to work-even before the fall. Sin has made it more difficult, but it is still something that God created us for. There is fulfillment in doing what God wants us to do in the way that He wants us to do it. Colossians 3:23-24 says, “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; for you serve the Lord Christ.”
A. We are to provide for our families (1 Timothy 5:4, 8).
B. We are to do our work as unto the Lord.
C. We are to be witnesses for Christ through our work.
D. We are to keep our work in perspective though and not make it a higher priority than family.

5. Being God’s Agents in the World (1:28): God has given us dominion over His creation. He has called us to be stewards of His world. Before the Fall, that was primarily expressed through tending the garden. Today, it is about building God’s Kingdom. The vehicle that God uses primarily today as far as building His Kingdom is the Church. He wants men to serve others, evangelize, be leaders, etc. God has gifted us to be His ministers, and truly serving Him is crucial for our fulfillment and satisfaction. He wants us to invest our lives in things of eternal value.

I have taught in the past that we are supposed to put God first, wife second, kids third, church fourth, work fifth, etc. However, something that Dr. Robertson McQuilkin wrote in an article that I referenced in church on Sunday really spoke to me. This is my paraphrase, but he basically said that we are to put God first, but when we do that, instead of ranking other priorities, we should view everything that God has called us to do as a first priority as well because it is a matter of obedience to Him. How do we make all of these things a first priority? Well, I feel like I don’t do that very well a lot of the time, but that drives me back to Jesus in confession and repentance, to seek His wisdom and guidance, and to ask to be filled with and empowered by the Holy Spirit. That is really how the Christian life is designed to be lived. As men, we are to depend on the God-Man, who is the only One who can empower us to be the men that God has created us to be. Galatians 2:20 says, “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”