“How To Ruin A Kid”
Ephesians 6:1-4
Sermon Series: “Picture Perfect Family?”
Introduction: I believe in the phrase, “Begin with the end in mind.” In other words, it is wise to know where we are going, what we are trying to accomplish, and our ultimate goal before we begin. So, as we begin the parenting phase of this sermon series, I think we need to start by defining parenting from a biblical perspective and settling what God wants our ultimate goal in parenting to be. How can we be a godly parent without settling these issues?
Ephesians 6:4 teaches us that we are to nourish our kids with the training and discipline of the Lord. This means that parenting is a responsibility from God and God is working through us to raise children. Children are from the Lord and ultimately belong to the Lord so parenting is a stewardship that we will have to give an account to God for. We need to parent for the future. Remember, it our job to work with God to build them into what He created and designed them to be. We are preparing them to live on their own and fulfill God’s plan for their life.
The Bible tells us clearly what God’s purpose in parenting is. Malachi 2:15 says, “He seeks godly offspring.” In other words, our goal as parents should be to raise godly children. Does that mean I should try to raise some kind of weird religious fanatic? No, that is not what this means! We need to look at Jesus, who is the revelation and manifestation of God. He defines and exemplifies godliness! Luke 2:51-52 tells us that Jesus grew in wisdom, stature, and favor with God and man.
Main Principle: We are not to treat our children in ways that frustrate them and produce bitterness and resentment.
Ways We Produce This In Our Kids
There are many ways that we can treat our children that exasperate them and produce bitterness and resentment. Here are 10 for us to think about:
1. Overprotection
2. Inconsistency
3. Conditional love and acceptance (performance focused, perfectionism, nitpicking, nagging, fault-finding, etc.)
4. Anger (manifested in verbal or physical abuse, name-calling, harsh discipline, etc.)
5. Spoiling (meaning giving them practically whatever they want, acting like they are never wrong, making excuses, a lack of discipline, etc.)
6. Not spending time with them (could be produced by having other priorities, divorce, fatherlessness, etc.)
7. Saying one thing and doing another (failing to lead by example)
8. Not listening to them
9. Not keeping our promises 10. Not pointing them to Jesus
Conclusion: How do we apply this?
1. We need a relationship with Jesus and the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to live this out.
2. We need to strive to have an understanding of our children and what they need.
3. We need to confess and repent where we have sinned in this regard.
4. We need to humble ourselves and ask our kids for forgiveness it is needed.
5. We may need to forgive our parents and let go of the past in some cases.
6. We need to apply Ezekiel 18 and take personal responsibility.
