“Men And Marriage”
Ephesians 5:18-33
Sermon Series: “Picture Perfect Family?”
Introduction: What are the primary roles of husbands and wives in the marriage relationship? There is a lot of confusion on that subject. It is important that we base our roles on the truth of the Word of God and not our own ideas. This week we will look at the husband’s role and next week at the wife’s role.
Main Idea-Husband’s Role In Marriage: The husband’s role in marriage is to lead like Jesus through loving his wife like Jesus.
1. Husbands are to lead like Jesus (v. 22-24).
Wives are commanded to “submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Colossians 3:19, 1 Peter 3:1). The reason that is given is the fact that “the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church” (1 Corinthians 11:3). As Dr. Wayne Grudem has conclusively demonstrated in a study of over 2300 uses of the Greek word, kephale, the word translated “head,” clearly means “authority.” Thus, the teaching here is that the man’s position is the head which means that one of his roles is leadership. Men and women are equal, but God has given us different roles (the Trinity is our example). However, the husband is not the ultimate authority. God is so a husband’s authority is only delegated and subject to God’s authority. Therefore, the focus of my leadership should be in leading my family to do the will of God. There is to be mutual submission in matters of personal preference. Also, the reality is that leadership means that we are first in responsibility and last in rights. Mark Driscoll says, “Being a man means taking responsibility as the covenant head of marriage. I carry my load plus my wife and children’s load.”
How Not To Lead
A. Not a dictator
- Not a father to our wives
- Not the exclusive decision-maker
D. Not an excuse for laziness/self-indulgence E. Not to squelch his wife’s personality
What Leadership Involves
A. Be a servant (Matthew 20: 20-28), put her first, and do what is best for her (and the children).
B. Set an example by being Christ-like.
C. Lead according to God’s Word and will.
D. Carry my load and be responsible for my family. E. Provide for, protect, and be a priest for my family.
2. Husbands are to love their wives like Jesus (v.25-33).
Verse 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her.” Thus, our leadership is to be totally loving leadership. Christ-like love is:
A. Unconditional [v. 25] (It is agape, God’s perfect and unconditional love. We are to love beyond how we are loved. Jesus took responsibility for what is wrong with us.)
B. Sacrificial [v. 25] (We are to give our lives to our wives like He laid down His life for the Church.)
C. Purifying [v. 26-27] (We should help our wives become more like Christ instead of making that task more difficult.)
D. Nourishing [v. 28-29] (We are called to build them up.)
E. Cherishing [v. 28-29] (We are to highly value our wives and
treat them in a way that is consistent with that attitude.) F. Permanent [v. 31] (We are to choose to love them for the
rest of our lives.)
Conclusion: How do we respond? What do we do with this?
1. Fulfill our God-given responsibility to lead and love our wives. 2. Repent. Don’t be a coward or a chauvinist.
3. We need Jesus to be able to live this out-receive Him.
4. Look to Jesus as our example and for empowering by His Holy Spirit (I won’t and can’t live this out apart from Him).
5. Never mistreat a woman in any way, especially using this as a justification for that kind of behavior.
6. Selflessly serve. Take responsibility and give up rights.
