“Words”
Proverbs, Matthew 12:33-37, Ephesians 4:17-32
Sermon Series: “Building Blocks of Healthy Relationships”
1. Words have great power to affect our relationships for good or bad. Proverbs 10:11 says, “The mouth of the righteous is a well of life, but violence covers the mouth of the wicked.” Proverbs 13:3 says, “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.” Proverbs 15:4 says, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” Proverbs 18:21 says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
2. Our words are the fruit of the root of our hearts (Matthew 12:33-37). Jesus said, “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (verse 34). The heart speaks of the inner person. He also taught us that we will be judged by our words because our words are a revealer of our hearts.
3. When we put these two ideas together, we have the following principle. We can change our relationships by changing our words, and our words change by our hearts changing.
4. Our hearts are practically changed by (Ephesians 4:17-32):
A. Transformation through the work of Jesus (v. 17-21).
B. Putting off our former conduct of the old life (v. 22). This is daily
repentance from our previous sinful ways.
C. Renewing our minds (v. 23).
D. Putting on the new man, which is the holiness and righteousness we were
given through Jesus (v. 24). This means that we are to do the things God tells us to do and live out our position in Christ.
5. Practically, in regard to our speech, this means that we put off corrupt words and put on words that build up and impart grace. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers.” Here are some speech characteristics to put on and put off:
Put Off
A. Too many words: Proverbs 10:19 says, “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking,
but he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 17:27-28 says, “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit. Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; when he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive.” 12:23 says, “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims foolishness.” Abraham Lincoln said, “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt.”
B. Boasting: Proverbs 27:2 says, “Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger and not your own lips.” In other words, we should let our actions do our talking. We should let others compliment us instead of boasting about ourselves. C. Harsh words/venting our feelings: Proverbs 29:11 says, “A fool vents all his feelings, but a wise man holds them back.” Proverbs 15:1 says, “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
D. Lying: God hates lying (Proverbs 6:17 and 19). He is a God of Truth (John 14:6). Proverbs 13:5a teaches us that “a righteous man hates lying.” Proverbs 17:22 says, “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord, but those who deal truthfully are His delight.” Here are some ways that we can lie (the basis for this list comes from Kent Hughes): slander/gossip, flattery exaggeration, carelessness (“chronically inaccurate”), insinuation, silence, plagiarism, half truths, intentionally saying one thing to one person and something else to another person, false doctrine, and not paying our vows to God. Abraham Lincoln said, “The fact is, truth is your truest friend, no matter what the circumstances are.”
E. Slander/False Witness: Proverbs 25:18 says, “A man who bears false witness against his neighbor is like a club, a sword, and a sharp arrow” (see also Leviticus 19:16). Proverbs 10:18b says, “Whoever spreads slander is a fool.” Proverbs 6:19 tells us that it is an abomination to the Lord when someone is “a false witness who speaks lies, and one who sows discord among brethren.”
F. Sowing discord through gossip: Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man sows strife, and a whisperer separates the best of friends” (see also Proverbs 11:13, 17:9, 18:8, 20:19, and 18:17).
G. Perverse Words: Proverbs 4:24 says, “Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you” (see also Proverbs 17:20 and 19:1). Examples of this include:
-Taking God’s Name in vain-Exodus 20:5 says, “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain.”
-Foolish talking-Ephesians 5:4
-Coarse jesting-Ephesians 5:4
-Filthy language-Ephesians 5:4 and Colossians 3:8
H. Name Calling (Matthew 5:22)
I. Complaining and Criticism: Philippians 2:14 says, “Do all things without complaining and disputing.”
Put On
A. Truth (honesty, reality, non-falsehood, not misleading)-Ephesians 4:25
B. Words that Edify (words that build up, help, and encourage)-Ephesians 4:29
C. Love-1 Corinthians 16:14 says, “Let all that you do be done with love.”
D. Grace (words of favor that are wholesome and preserving)-Colossians 4:6 says, “Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
E. Thanksgiving-1 Thessalonians 5:18 says, “In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
F. Praise (Psalm 34:1, Hebrews 13:15)
G. Our Confession of Christ (testimony)-Matthew 10:32-33
H. Only what we can say in the name of Jesus-Colossians 3:17 says, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus….”
